By Adela Toplean | January 26, 2010 - 9:34 am - Posted in life 'n art
Old post re-written for new purposes. I felt that the right time is now. The comments and the PS’s are certainly not actual anymore. That particular issue of The Word was found, and I grew calmer (and wiser), a committed supporter of moderated discussions.What is it that we want?
None of us would admit wanting extravagant things; none of us would mention the moon or the lottery luck, the Rolls Royce or the private jet, the Brad or the Angelina, the Nobel or the Grammy. When asked, we answer decently, predictably, rightfully: we want love, health, peace in the world and good schools for our children. Which is, of course, nothing but the truth, nothing but the proof of our sticking to the right cliches, to those beautiful clichés which are always able to refresh our sense of reality.
Vulgarity – in all its known or suspected forms – is completely absent from our wishing lists; and so is a supposed “sympathy for the devil”.
Vulgarity – in all its known or suspected forms – is completely absent from our wishing lists; and so is a supposed “sympathy for the devil”.
According to the public wishing lists, everybody loves and nobody hates; everybody’s reasonable; nobody’s fooling around with the green projects, with the marriage institution or with the children rights. We live in a fundamentally good world and that’s why we don’t even bother to discuss the causality of evil anymore.
Our goodwill ambassadors know exactly where to go and whom to feed, we have magazines that tell us (see the 1st issue of the Intelligent Life, the newborn child of The Economist) how to make efficient charity, we have academic departments lecturing and discussing religious pluralism, we have hundreds of militating NGO’s to teach us positive discrimination in three steps.
Who said that progress doesn’t exist and who said the world can’t be saved from collapse by some wonderful wishing lists put together by thoughtful fellow-humans?
There is one little problem still: we are not our wishing lists. Would you really want to have access to the uncensored to-do’s lists of your fellow humans? I don’t think so.
We are not what we want. We are what we crave. And when it comes to craving, we’re no better than children, and we’re no better than the pets we have in care.
Craving has a space of its own, a lawless space. We gladly give a righteous action for an illicit attempt; or two years of reasonable public glory for a moment of completely ridiculous intimacy; we raise two children, and make four abortions; we buy wooden toys, and then waste 4 gallons of water washing the asphalt yard.
And all these because we have a very… labyrinthine way of interpreting the rules of the games we play.
We have troubles with seeing things in their full dimensions. We’re born with a fascination for our own deficiencies, just like the 3-year old kid’s fascination for his own poop. We’re interested in corruption, in losers, in adultery and warcraft. We’re interested in crowds, in total power, in depression and weakness, as well as in the whole process of finding an alibi. We fix this, we break that. And viceversa.
And so we have an ambivalent relationship with our own wishing lists. It is not easy to make relevant, practicable and efficient distinctions between aspirations and cravings. We’d rather go for a “dialectical” understanding of both. So that our paradoxical ego can grow bigger, darker, greener, worse.
PS: Leonard Cohen and Lou Reed were the kings of the weekend. I know I have written before about Reed’s “Coney Island Baby”, but I just keep noticing how my heart is racing when this song is playing. Plain beauty in terms of both music and lyrics.
And by the way, if anyone can find the interview that Cohen gave for The Word magazine in the July 2007 issue, please give me a call. I have been looking for it all over the internet, Amazon and eBay. No luck.
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i have that particular issue of The Word. yes, cohen is GOD.
i’ll come back with notes about the text, i have to read it a couple of times
Probably your best text this year
I know people who are absolutely not interested in depression, weakness, losers, adultery, war and crowds
vi träffas ju helt klart! jag ska ringa dig “first thing” imorgon
/H.
Ja, självklart!
An ambivalent relationship with our wishing lists. Haha. So true.
I also try to look more politically (and socially and emotionally) correct than I am. My school, my family, my university taught me to be this way. It’s not all wrong, I think it’s the only way out, but also makes me less true to myself.
I’ve been looking for THE WORD, but you can’t order it from their site right now it seems.
shit i can’t find the magazine, i had it somewhere, hope it wasn’t used as wrapping paper without my knowledge
public wishing lists are never real. everybody knows that and everybody acts accordingly. on the other hand even the most politically correct wishing list is self-gratulatory. ask brangelina
Adela, do you like or do you dislike Brad Pitt and/or Angelina Jolie? Lite off topic kanske, but interesting to know because it’s what we are these days!
THank you.
@marcus: glad to hear the article clicked for you; yes, I know The Word is not available on their site. It was the first thing I’ve checked.
@anonymous: maybe you ate it.
@ lisa: I have no opinion on these two. I just invoked them because everybody knows them. I personally have no opinion of them as actors because I don’t see movies with them. I don’t like Brad Pitt as a person/man at all. On the other hand, I do believe that Angelina Jolie is the most beautiful woman alive. Wisely dressed, never (or very seldom) heard her talking so I have no opinion on her as a person, I only have a photo-based opinion. All in all, she is something
Thank you, Adela, for answering! I was so curious to know your opinion on physical standards. I personally like Brad Pitt very much, and he is like good wine, the older he gets, the better he looks. Angelina is too thin, but I am very impressed with her mother-image, she is a model for those women who still think that family comes first.
I have to say that I would buy your paintings if I could afford them, I think you are a great painter and a great thinker. I come here almost every day and I always find something to learn, to look at, to think about. It’s so wonderful that you are not arrogant as other people of your standard are. Thank you so much for your answer.
Love,
L.
PS: I am deeply sorry for the compulsive use of the word “opinion” in my above comment. I was following a Dire Straits top on Vh1 as I was writing.
you don’t like brad?? what kind of woman are you??
he is the best dressed man, admit it!!
angelina is indeed perfect but she is too obvious, too obviously charming. kidman is better and more subtle and has a more european elegance, but she’s too tall and too blonde for my taste. the good old 50′s feminine sizes are the best to follow in my humble opinion, they come closer to what men actually like, hope, wish, crave for.
i ate it yes. trying to get deeper wiser older better.
Oh My God, first cars, now Pitt & Jolie, what’s the next frivolous thing you’re gonna talk about?
(joking *not*)
Nothing is frivolous with the right approach, haven’t you learn that yet as a reader of this blog?
I agree with the anonymous who said the female-type of the 50′s is what we guys are fond of. Red lips, right shapes, soft walking, not too masculine, not too slim, not too tall, precisely like my girlfriend
found the article. do you want it faxed? or related in my own words?
peaceful woman’s day
I got it already, otherwise I would have wanted it related in your own words
Thanx for the wishing.
That NY gallery is interested in my work. They want to represent me. Do you know more about them? Do you know the director? (it’s a she, the one who mailed me with the positive response). They sent me the contract, the agreement, everything. But I am not an “established” painter, so I can’t play how they want me too. I feel very much like a musician facing the terms and conditions of a irrational, faulty label (like EMI for inst.). What if I won’t sell as expected and I will be forced to pay myself for all those PR moves? They have a representation fee as well. S***, I wasn’t ready for this. I have never expected them to say “yes” and now I realize that I can’t do much without having an official position as a painter. Any suggestion is highly appreciated.
Thanx in advance.
will look into it and let you know more about it later next week
now i’m not home, desperately trying to complete the adoption, but it looks like they won’t let it happen
don’t give any answer yet, it looks like a vanity gallery, they won’t let you price your works for your profit, but for theirs.
what gallery? what show? what are you guys talking about? and why don’t you talk in private if you want to keep it personal and unclear for those who don’t know the details? I mean it’s lack of respect for the usual readers who are interested in the information delivered on this site. If you want to keep it private, use the email fGs!
with all due respect,
S.
Dear S,
keep it cool. I make the rules here. And let me tell you something: there are no rules to follow around here.
I could moderate the discussions, but I’ve always preferred not to. I trust my visitors. They’re good, talkative guys who love to be held special. You’re one of them. I like that. And when I say “I like that”, I am also prepared for the consequences of my likings. Some people love getting obscure, just like others love getting attention. Is anything wrong with that? I don’t know. And I don’t particularly care. A talk is a talk. A blog is a blog. It goes its own way. Sometimes goes high, sometimes goes down. Like every other daily thing. Like a relationship. Or like your mood.
We did have a slightly obscure discussion, I I admit, but if you didn’t get enough of it, well, you know…
As a blogger, I can tell you that it often happens not to get a single thing from what my visitors write. So what? The only fun thing about blogging is its being out of control. It’s a vivid thing that is shaped and reshaped every day by people you often don’t know personally. Otherwise you might as well publish a book. Or write personal letters to your friends. Or talk in your own answering machine.
We were talking about the weak points of a contract I got with an art gallery from New York. I didn’t intend to make it clear because I haven’t decided anything yet. OK now? Are you satisfied?
However, be prepared to face more obscure situations in the future.
Or simply surf on. Or try the library. It’s more useful than the internet.
aahh! the good ol’ crazy times of bloggin’ !!!
Very good text Adela. Very bold and sincere. Appreciated.